This Higgs Boson business

July 7, 2012

This Higgs Boson Business


So let me see if I’ve got this straight:

A bunch of scientists – physicists, to be precise

have got together down a tunnel in Switzerland

and cobbled together something called a ‘Hadron Collider’


And this Hadron Collider –

you fire it up,

it takes a load of these so-called particles,

whizzes them about,

smashes them together at a speed

that we’re supposed to believe

is faster than the speed of light;

even though, up until now, these very same scientists

have been telling anyone who’d listen

that the speed of light was the fastest speed there is


So essentially

after a lifetime of consensus within the scientific community

some Jonny-Come-Lately from Switzerland

has popped his head round the door

and said, ‘Hang on everybody, stop what you’re doing –

turns out Einstein was barking up the wrong tree.’


Then –

and this is the bit that I can’t get my head around:

Once these particles have been smashed into one another

out pops another kind of particle

and this other particle – ‘the god particle’

that’s supposed to tell us how it all began?

that’s supposed to explain the origins of the universe?


Nah, sorry

I’m not convinced.



I’ll have the same again please.

When you get a minute, no rush. You can put it in the same glass.


‘Hadron Collider’.

There’ll be people getting paid good money to be down that tunnel;

Nice work if you can get it.


Still, origins of the universe, eh?

I suppose you’ve got to wonder.



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