Clean as a ref’s whistle

May 11, 2011

Responding to new allegations of corruption in FIFA Jack Warner has sprayed air freshener in the toilet with the following statement:

The Fifa vice-president Jack Warner said he “laughed like hell” when confronted with new corruption allegations made the former FA and England 2018 chairman Lord Triesman. Triesman told a Parliamentary committee on Tuesday of “improper and unethical” behaviour by four Fifa executives, claiming they asked for favours, including money and a knighthood, when he was lobbying for England’s bid. Triesman claimed Warner had requested money to build an education centre in Trinidad at an estimated cost of £2.5m.

But Warner, president of the Concacaf federation of countries in north and central American and the Caribbean, told Trinidad’s Newsday: “First of all, I laugh like hell because it took those guys from December to now [to say] that I have £2.5m I believe. I never asked anybody for anything.

“When these guys came here, we promised to help. I showed them a place where they can put a playground. They promised to come back but they never did. That’s all.”

Sounds like a clean bottom to me. I have often thought about inviting people round to my house when I am awarding contracts. I would point out where my new bathroom would like to go. I would show them pictures of the horse my daughter is very fond of. And I would run them past the Porsche shop saying things like ‘isn’t that a nice car. But i bet it’s quite costly in petrol. It would be really nice to be bought the car and a lifetime’s supply of oil’. Of course none of this would in any way be inappropriate. It’s merely pointing out a list of things l would like to have bought for me by other people.

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