Identifying Characteristics of The Tool

November 17, 2010

1. A refusal to look another person in the eye, or make only very occasional eye contact. The Tool fears the gaze of another; for though his behaviour suggests a surfeit of confidence, in fact The Tool is a most nervous character. His nervousness springs from a well of self-awareness which lies deep beneath the surface. This well must never be tapped; and so The Tool must live in a state of perennial amnesia. It is the knowing gaze of another which most threatens this state of affairs.

2. A marked self-interest, often expressing itself in a lack of questions. Questions are of interest to The Tool only insofar as they may provide him with information, or else they are employed, often rhetorically, in attempt to profit him – e.g. “can anyone lend me a tenner?”. A question that serves to express interest in another individual is not only of no use to The Tool; rather, interest in others is directly at odds with The Tool’s philosophy.

3. An inability to laugh at oneself. The Tool has no fewer shortcomings than any other man yet, even if he is aware of those shortcomings, he is marked by his absolute refusal to find the humour within them. For though he will make pretence at light-heartedness (he is more often that not a character desperate to be seen as ‘fun’), make no mistake: The Tool is a serious man – and no subject warrants a more serious approach than that of himself.

The Tool is never far away. Sleep with one eye open.



One Response to “Identifying Characteristics of The Tool”

  1. Eiji said

    is this about me?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: