A Letter to the Vue Entertainment customer service department

October 19, 2010

Last night, myself and Bolo went to see a film at the Vue Cinema in Leicester Square. Leaving aside the quality of the chosen film (very poor), the cinema itself proved to be a somewhat disappointing experience.

And so, in honorable memory of AJ Joyce’s letter to the manufacturers of Electronic Orange, and with a tip of the hat to Ted L Nancy, I decided to write to Vue Cinemas customer service department. A copy of the letter is below. Should I receive a reply – and I would be most disappointed not to – I will post a copy here also.

Customer Services Department / Vue Entertainment / 10 Chiswick Park / 566 Chiswick High Rd / London / W4 5XS

October 19th, 2010

Dear Sir / Madam,

I am writing to you following my visit last night to your Leicester Square cinema (movie theatre). This was my first time seeing a movie in a Leicester Square theatre – a location so often frequented by the stars of world cinema! As I’m sure you will appreciate, it was something of an occasion (you’ll forgive my understatement I hope!) for myself and my companion.

Unfortunately, my companion and I left your theatre feeling, respectively, disappointed (me) and greatly distressed (my companion).

I have detailed below the issues we encountered which contributed so greatly to our negative experiences.

Issue # 1 – Late change to Screening Auditorium (‘Screen’)

The event was billed as taking place in ‘Screen’ number three; and, on entering the cinema, my companion and I were indeed directed downstairs to this Screen (number three). However, on reaching Screen three, we were advised there had been a mistake!

How could this have happened?

We were then told (NB not asked) to turn around and make our way upstairs to Screen six. To my companion, who is both physically and emotionally fragile at this moment in time (for reasons I will not go into here), the confusion this caused, and the requirement to ride yet more escalators, were both causes of considerable distress.

Issue # 2 – Excessive checking of tickets

Between the cinema foyer and the final selected screen (having been redirected from the advertised screen, as mentioned above), my companion and I had our tickets checked no fewer than six (six!) times. As I have already mentioned, my companion was (and is) in a somewhat ‘delicate’ emotional state (not helped, in my opinion, by certain homeopathic medications he insists on taking). Being “interrogated” (his word) by your staff on no fewer than six (six!) occasions was – as I am sure you can appreciate – a cause of considerable distress.

Issue # 3 – Excessive volume of film soundtrack

It is my firm opinion that the soundtrack of this movie was played at a volume setting far in excess of what was necessary (i.e. it was too loud). Several members of the film audience, myself included, were forced at times to plug their ears (using their fingers or, in the case of one member of the audience, handkerchiefs) in order to lessen the impact upon their eardrums. And, I would hazard, it is safe to assume (based on a law of averages) that the majority of people attending the film were of a sound medical disposition. Not so, unfortunately, my good & gentle companion – who has been described by one medical professional as “shell-shocked” (a term more commonly applied to war veterans!). Can you imagine the impact that this excessive volume had upon his condition?

Conclusion

As the cumulative result of all three incidents outlined above, we were left with no option but to leave the screening – before the movie was even halfway through! Unfortunately, whilst I myself emerged from the auditorium relatively unscathed, my companion was not so lucky, having been “press-ganged” (his term) by the whole experience into a regrettable state of incontinence.

I trust you will act promptly in replying to my letter and addressing the concerns outlined above.

Yours sincerely,

Mr D Woolley

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2 Responses to “A Letter to the Vue Entertainment customer service department”

  1. Joycemate said

    Nice one Wool – you may want to remove your address from the bottom of the post – this being the internet n’all.

  2. tbm7 said

    Good shout Joyce… always thinking…

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