From the Pabs Archives (3)

July 22, 2010

Loco Coco Sombrero

Berg (16.08.2005)

In the process of moving house I had arranged to go back one final time on Sunday night to Kensington to feed the cats before their owners returned. The cleaner had been in on Sunday just to touch things up for their arrival.

Our cleaner, Esther Blanco, is a petite Spanish lady whose political views are slightly to the right of Franco. She is also, to say the least, a little odd. Before we moved in, Meg and Judy – the owners – told us of her hatred for the two cats. Apparently Esther cleaned when the cats were only kittens and they would leap up at her. Ever since she has had a severe phobia of cats (although I’m not sure if this encompasses the feline spectrum, or just these two vicious moggys).

As a result, whenever she came to clean, we had to shut the cats away in the study. We too, had to be out of the house, but I think this was a convenience thing, rather than another phobia for twentysomethings.

So anyway, I returned to the house at about 8 o’clock on Sunday to let the cats out of the study (Esther was cleaning from 10-6) and feed them one last time.

When I arrived there was no evidence of any cleaning. I wandered up the stairs confused, and a little miffed that I might have to do the cleaning myself.

Then I noticed that one of the cats was in my room and the study door was ajar. The plot thickened.

Then I was started by the Esther yelping from the confines of the kitchen:

“Please! I’m so glad you’re here! Please! Don’t open the door! The cats! They have let themselves out! Please, can you shut them away!”

After arriving at 10am, she had started cleaning the kitchen when she heard one of the cats’ bells. She peered in terror over the landing, only to see one of the little brutes bounding up the stairs toward her. In a fit of panic she shut herself in the kitchen and there she remained, until I found her 10 hours later!

Fearing she may have to stay the night, she had called work to warn them she may not be coming in on Monday morning! She had even called her friend (who she is going to Paris with on Tuesday) to try and arrange different train times.

The kitchen was spotless.

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